Tiffany Nielsen

Adult and Youth Etiquette Workshops

What Would Charlene Say? Part 3: Three Habits of Gracious Living

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Here’s Part 3 of the daily habit campaign! I’m confident you will find this one necessary for surviving our wobbly, unpredictable life!

Give Thanks. She never complained (at least out loud) to me about surgery or another round of chemo/radiation. She didn’t whine to the doctors, her nurses or the assistants. In fact, Charlene frequently expressed to her oncologist…

Learn to celebrate what's good in the world

What Would Charlene Say? Three Habits for Gracious Living!

“Thank you for taking care of me. I’ve learned so much and I am fascinated by the science and technology that help people like me”. And, if it weren’t for cancer, I wouldn’t know all you great people.”

Leave it to my dear mom (in-law) to be thankful for her situation while her entourage uncomfortably awaited the reading of CAT scans. Charlene Nielsen found the silver lining in everything and everyone.

To recap Charlene’s Three Habits for Gracious Living:
1. Get Dressed.
2. Smile.
3. Give Thanks.

Which habit would you like to see more people practice, and why?

If you please, post your thoughts in the comment section below. By posting, you are helping others benefit from your honest and respectful perspective.

“Give thanks for what is right in the world. Let God worry about the rest.”
 – Charlene Nielsen,  Author, Grandma, Mother and Premier Etiquettes’ Editor (in heaven)

Tiffany Nielsen, Founder and CEO of Premier Etiquette, is your favorite Etiquette Lady and Personal Stylist. She lives in Exeter, CA with her husband, David and travels nationwide representing ideas and strategies that help remedy social and business faux pas. You are invited to attend Tiffany’s upcoming program, Mother May I May 27 or 28 from 5:30 to 7:30 P.M. at Snappy Casual Consulting in Bakersfield or at Brandman University in Visalia, CA. The program cost is $34.00.

Please register for Bakersfield’s Mother May I, Etiquette and Style Class here: http://www.eventbrite.com/e/new-year-true-you-bakersfields-workshop-series-for-women-tickets-9943018837

© Tiffany Nielsen | Premier Etiquette. All Rights Reserved.

International Etiquette: What to Wear to the Vatican

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Vatican dress codesMy upcoming trip to Italy presents an exciting opportunity to see this culturally rich country through the eyes of its residents. I wonder to myself, what is it like to live in Venice?  How do they manage the hustle and bustle of the tourist in Rome without becoming overly annoyed? What can I do to avoid the stigma of the “Ugly American”?

When David and I traveled through Northern Europe in 2007, it was in Russia that I learned the meaning of “Ugly American.”  I’ll avoid providing details of the experience we found ourselves facing there in order to remain civilly thoughtful regarding this matter, warning only that the scene was ghastly, embarrassing and yes, ugly.  I couldn’t help but take a photo of the Ugly American because life’s little lessons become opportunities to help us all present ourselves at our very best.

My mother taught me to dress nicely when I travel and frequently reminded me that we are an extension of our family and our country everywhere we go. She further instilled the virtues of adorning ourselves appropriately for church and when visiting religious sites, which will come in especially handy this time since churches, including St. Peters Basilica, are a part of my itinerary.  I hear dress codes are strict there.  The last thing I want is to be escorted away from St. Peters by a Swiss Guard for not being properly dressed!  No wonder I am thumbing through guide books and etiquette articles written by others as well as by me, eager to be pretty rather than ugly in Italy.

 What to Wear to the Vatican

If you are looking forward to an opportunity to visit Italy, consider these style tips for visiting Vatican City. They come in handy also for respectful appearance at any religious site:

  • Religions sites request decency while avoiding risqué, revealing attire.
  • Covered shoulders are a must and avoid showing cleavage. Save that for date night!
  • No shorts please. This applies to both men and women.
  • Skirts to the knees or longer.
  • Reasonable shoes, yes. Loud noise makers, blister makers and show stoppers are a “no-no.”
  • Choose class over trend and style over leisure wear.

I look forward, on my return, to sharing what I learn, this time, about the pleasures of traveling as an attractive American.

Ciao!

Linking In or Blanking Out? Business Etiquette for LinkedIn Users

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I use the social networking site LinkedIn for many reasons. It’s one of those sites that discourages the nuances of risqué photos and unwanted, uninvited posts. LinkedIn is also the place to showcase our talents, network our business services and dock our contacts online. No matter where professions take us, we can easily keep relationships moving along with us.

I get excited when I receive invitations to LinkedIn with others because I like to meet new people. But what really gets my etiquette happiness bursting at the seams is when I receive a request with a message attached. You know from experience that any invitation you receive, be it to a fundraiser, a party or some other event, usually includes a message as to why: “It’s Tiffany’s 40th Birthday” or “Open House for our New Business”, etc…  you get the point. But, oddly, some networkers purposely or mistakenly skip over this nugget of relationship building which could be a decided business advantage.

Since the fun of my business is sprinkling etiquette fairy dust when opportunities arise, I’m compelled to spread some of it today.  LinkedIn Etiquette? Yes, it exists.

  • When you send an invitation, you can build a friendlier connection if you include a message. The message can be a simple introduction or a sincere message as to why you want to connect. Maybe some people don’t attach a message because they don’t know what to say. Rest assured you can make it easier for people to connect with you by letting them know how you met, why you want to connect with them, etc… We already have enough mysteries to solve.
  • Consider including your LinkedIn URL in your email signature line. This makes it easier for people to find you on LinkedIn. Please feel free to link up with me.
  • Be sure to send a “thank you” message to new connections that accept your invitation. And, don’t worry about those who don’t accept. If you haven’t heard back from an invitation request, wait a few weeks and then resend the request. If you still don’t receive a response, move on.
  • In my opinion, writing a LinkedIn recommendation is a gift to someone, not a requirement. We all can mutually benefit each other if we are willing to give to get.  A personal thank you email or handwritten note to the person who writes a glorious recommendation on your behalf wins friends. And, the offer to write one in return for yours is good business.

I hope these etiquette tips support you in some way or at least validate your own etiquette expectations for LinkedIn. I want to build on this etiquette list with your help. Please comment below with your own tips and let’s mutually benefit each other by sprinkling etiquette anywhere and everywhere we can.

California School Loves Etiquette

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Personal image and etiquette leadership were the hot new topics for 25 girls at Valley Preparatory Charter Academy. These smart and sophisticated girls relinquished their Saturday afternoon to hang out with “yours truly.” Keep in mind, they CHOSE to be there.

Mock interviews and confidence building activities broke the ice, helping the young women move comfortably past what they might have feared their Saturday would turn out to be- a boring lesson on how to be nice. Yes, we spoke to them about pleasantries and why they should abundantly use magic words like “please” and “thank you,”  but we also guided them to use the principles of etiquette so they could learn how to make this “life thing” work for them. I’m always surprised when I hear people say that their kids wouldn’t enjoy such a program. Au contraire!

There comes a point in education when we leave scissors and glue behind for more grown-up classroom materials such as computers and interactive white boards. In this case, since we believe it is more fun to interact  than listen to boring lectures about “do’s and don’ts” of how to look and behave, we splashed tables with craft supplies and fashion magazines to open a montage of collage making.  The agreeable chatter of “Oh, I love that!” and “I want these shoes. They are so me,” crafted the perfect opportunity to teach the girls how discover their personal image.

A three course dining etiquette lesson included warm bread, tasty soup and a deliciously prepared entrée followed by a late afternoon dessert. Mix good food with fun tips on how to refrain from grossing people out at the dinner table and you get a pleasant-to-be-around, graceful, enjoyable person.

Each girl received a personal consultation from my in-house image experts Marytina Lawrence and Sabrina Jimenez. Some people might not see how image and etiquette are connected, but they are. Imagine what it is like for a young girl to hear she’s beautiful and perfect just the way she is when statistic show eighty percent of girls find fault with their image?

It was our mission to energize these young women to become the best possible version of themselves.  We owe an abundant amount of gratitude to Executive Director, Shelly Melton, Educator, Lisa Taylor and Nutritional Coordinator, Janice Walstrom (below, third to the right) and her thoughtful team. Without them, this program might not be possible. Thank you!

Be on the look-out for these shining stars. We are so proud of them and we are forever grateful that schools like Valley Preparatory Charter Academy find means to continuously invest in their kids, knowing they deserve every ounce of it.

© Tiffany Nielsen

Thanksgiving Etiquette: Tips for Holiday Planning

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Thanksgiving Etiquette
Etiquette Tips for Holiday Planning

Whether this is your first or 50th year for hosting a Thanksgiving gathering, it’s a big deal! There’s the guest list and menu to plan, cleaning to be done and considerations of etiquette and manners to make the day enjoyable for everyone. Here are a few tips to celebrate this memorable American tradition with class.

Invitations If you are the host, consider assembling your invite list by the end of this week to establish a “head count.”  The Emily Post Institute suggests we begin inviting guests from two months to two weeks prior to Thanksgiving Day.   Basically, you want to give people plenty of time to make travel plans and provide enough time for you to get going on grocery shopping. Hit the sales, grab your coupons and plan on a few guests sticking around the following day for leftover turkey sandwiches.

RSVP Although a host or hostess may give you an RSVP deadline, consider responding as soon as the invitation is extended.  If you received a “family” invitation, let the host know how many of you can come. Uninvited guests, although welcomed gracefully by a good host, can’t be planned for if not anticipated. Not responding is a giant etiquette faux pas, and one many of us remember for a long time.

Offer to Contribute Once you’ve been invited, you may want to think about contributing something to the meal. Wine, pies, breads, etc… simply ask, “Is there anything you would like me to bring? This is an important lesson to teach our kids. I mastered making homemade pumpkin pies in college because my mom made me (in a roundabout way). She taught me to ask the hosts how I could contribute. Since pie was always requested, I made pie (I couldn’t afford Marie Callender’s).

Order/Pick Up the Meat: I don’t know about you, but menu planning is huge in our house because it’s the food and the company that brings us to the table. Follow “good common sense protocol” and order that bird a.s.a.p. (or beef, which ever you prefer). Last Easter I called the butcher for a leg of lamb Easter week and they were out (dah, Tiffany!). Turkey isn’t hard to find, but testing your luck with 20 people sitting at your table without any sign of delivery on the traditional meat serving they’ve been waiting for all year isn’t something I advise.

Have fun planning and contributing to a beautiful American tradition!