Tiffany Nielsen

Adult and Youth Etiquette Workshops

October is National Bullying Prevention Month

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The Power of CivilityBullying doesn’t have a place in our society or our home, and it serves no purpose. Yet, surveys indicate that bullying is forever present, especially amongst the youth. According to PACER.org, nearly one-third of all school-aged children are bullied each year – upwards of 13 million students.

As I always say, civility starts and ends with the individual. It also starts with groups of people uniting together such as PACER- Parent Advocacy Coalition for Educational Rights. In fact, these smart folks are behind the growing and popular “October is National Bullying Prevention Month”. Bravo!  In my opinion, teaching bullying prevention in schools is as critical as teaching math and science.

We personally can prompt change if we choose civility in every sticky situation. It takes work, peer involvement and a zero tolerance policy to end bullying.  One significant personal effort by Rachel Scott to reach out to students who were picked on by others or who were new at her school resulted in Rachel’s Challenge.  This series of student empowering programs and strategies for students and adults to combat bullying was inspired by the first student killed at Columbine High School in 1999.  Shortly before her death she wrote,

“I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how far a little kindness can go.”  – rachelschallege.org

I’m often reminded that bullies come in all walks of life. They can be the obvious punk who’s in your face or the seemingly intelligent adult who will verbally beat people down because of his or her own shortcomings. Bullies are not gender specific. They are from both sides of the tracks and just maybe they were bullied themselves. Sad.

The reason I left my corporate career to speak about consideration, respect and honesty and manners includes being personally bullied in the workplace and in high school. I’m a firm believer that the principles of etiquette are some of the several time tested compasses for stomping out bulling in the school yard, in the halls of government and in business.

PACER and Rachel’s Challenge offer inspiration and resources you can use to help ignite an anti-bullying program at home, school and elsewhere. Bullying happens, but we can stop it by educating ourselves on how to communicate, address it and end it, period.

Choose civility.

International Etiquette: What to Wear to the Vatican

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Vatican dress codesMy upcoming trip to Italy presents an exciting opportunity to see this culturally rich country through the eyes of its residents. I wonder to myself, what is it like to live in Venice?  How do they manage the hustle and bustle of the tourist in Rome without becoming overly annoyed? What can I do to avoid the stigma of the “Ugly American”?

When David and I traveled through Northern Europe in 2007, it was in Russia that I learned the meaning of “Ugly American.”  I’ll avoid providing details of the experience we found ourselves facing there in order to remain civilly thoughtful regarding this matter, warning only that the scene was ghastly, embarrassing and yes, ugly.  I couldn’t help but take a photo of the Ugly American because life’s little lessons become opportunities to help us all present ourselves at our very best.

My mother taught me to dress nicely when I travel and frequently reminded me that we are an extension of our family and our country everywhere we go. She further instilled the virtues of adorning ourselves appropriately for church and when visiting religious sites, which will come in especially handy this time since churches, including St. Peters Basilica, are a part of my itinerary.  I hear dress codes are strict there.  The last thing I want is to be escorted away from St. Peters by a Swiss Guard for not being properly dressed!  No wonder I am thumbing through guide books and etiquette articles written by others as well as by me, eager to be pretty rather than ugly in Italy.

 What to Wear to the Vatican

If you are looking forward to an opportunity to visit Italy, consider these style tips for visiting Vatican City. They come in handy also for respectful appearance at any religious site:

  • Religions sites request decency while avoiding risqué, revealing attire.
  • Covered shoulders are a must and avoid showing cleavage. Save that for date night!
  • No shorts please. This applies to both men and women.
  • Skirts to the knees or longer.
  • Reasonable shoes, yes. Loud noise makers, blister makers and show stoppers are a “no-no.”
  • Choose class over trend and style over leisure wear.

I look forward, on my return, to sharing what I learn, this time, about the pleasures of traveling as an attractive American.

Ciao!

Robotic Professionalism

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FIRST Team

FIRST Team Gracious Professionalism

Robotic Professionalism 

The opportunity to share all things “etiquette” is, as you know, my calling by design, my chosen job, and my robotic nature.

Meet Michael, a student I met during my collegian business etiquette presentation at Central California’s Reedley College this past Thursday. To his classroom full of bright, aspiring leaders, I asked the question, “When you think of etiquette, what words or thoughts come to mind”? Michael’s answer? “Chivalry.”

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Dining Etiquette and Licking Knives

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Photo courtesy of Google Images

Licking a knife at home is one thing, but licking a knife in public can be seen as an etiquette mishap. Cleaning up what’s left on the blade of a knife could be a personal preference or an old habit for some to break- I get it.

I recently watched a woman in a restaurant lick her knife blade dry. From the tip of the blade to the start of the handle, she didn’t dare let that dressing go to waste.

One problem with licking knives is that it’s dangerous. A bleeding tongue would feel miserable.

If a person interviewing for a job is invited to join a potential employer for a meal, licking salad dressing, butter, or whatever from a knife will likely become an unforgettable moment for the employer. It could also turn out to be a lost opportunity for the applicant. I suppose the interview situation would be different if the job somehow involved knife tricks.

I’ve seen plenty of people use knives as toothpicks, to pry open bottles and so on. So be it. However, licking knives during a job interview won’t necessarily leave a positive impression. Not everyone has stopped caring about etiquette.

Like I said earlier, this may be personal preference or old habits for some. For others, they may not know that there is the option not to lick their knives. In other words, no one taught them any different or they didn’t care to listen.

The moral of the blog is to create awareness and help anyone looking for modern, helpful etiquette tips.

 

© Tiffany Nielsen. All Rights Reserved.

Etiquette Helps Make New Friends

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The timeless Girl Scout song “Make New Friends” plays out in my mind the moment I meet someone new to me.  I highly recommend this magic, considering how much I enjoy working with new as well as old friends. Image expert Marytina, our in-house image consultant and long-time friend, joined the Premier Etiquette team this year.  Then, along came new golden friends Doris Gularte, Corrie Cubillas, Sister Barbara, Mandy Lebow and star student Theresa from Notre Dame High School in Salinas, CA. These angels made our dreams come true through their insight and conviction to share our latest and greatest etiquette program.

Thank you Notre Dame High School for making friends with us! The mother/daughter event challenged the audience to re-establish civility and elegance in their homes, businesses and communities. Gaining self-respect by learning to like exactly who they see when looking in a mirror inspired their determination to go out and make a positive impact on their surroundings. Wow!