Tiffany Nielsen

Dining Etiquette, Business Etiquette and Children's Workshop

California School Loves Etiquette

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Personal image and etiquette leadership were the hot new topics for 25 girls at Valley Preparatory Charter Academy. These smart and sophisticated girls relinquished their Saturday afternoon to hang out with “yours truly.” Keep in mind, they CHOSE to be there.

Mock interviews and confidence building activities broke the ice, helping the young women move comfortably past what they might have feared their Saturday would turn out to be- a boring lesson on how to be nice. Yes, we spoke to them about pleasantries and why they should abundantly use magic words like “please” and “thank you,”  but we also guided them to use the principles of etiquette so they could learn how to make this “life thing” work for them. I’m always surprised when I hear people say that their kids wouldn’t enjoy such a program. Au contraire!

There comes a point in education when we leave scissors and glue behind for more grown-up classroom materials such as computers and interactive white boards. In this case, since we believe it is more fun to interact  than listen to boring lectures about “do’s and don’ts” of how to look and behave, we splashed tables with craft supplies and fashion magazines to open a montage of collage making.  The agreeable chatter of “Oh, I love that!” and “I want these shoes. They are so me,” crafted the perfect opportunity to teach the girls how discover their personal image.

A three course dining etiquette lesson included warm bread, tasty soup and a deliciously prepared entrée followed by a late afternoon dessert. Mix good food with fun tips on how to refrain from grossing people out at the dinner table and you get a pleasant-to-be-around, graceful, enjoyable person.

Each girl received a personal consultation from my in-house image experts Marytina Lawrence and Sabrina Jimenez. Some people might not see how image and etiquette are connected, but they are. Imagine what it is like for a young girl to hear she’s beautiful and perfect just the way she is when statistic show eighty percent of girls find fault with their image?

It was our mission to energize these young women to become the best possible version of themselves.  We owe an abundant amount of gratitude to Executive Director, Shelly Melton, Educator, Lisa Taylor and Nutritional Coordinator, Janice Walstrom (below, third to the right) and her thoughtful team. Without them, this program might not be possible. Thank you!

Be on the look-out for these shining stars. We are so proud of them and we are forever grateful that schools like Valley Preparatory Charter Academy find means to continuously invest in their kids, knowing they deserve every ounce of it.

© Tiffany Nielsen

Thanksgiving Etiquette

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Despite some claims that manners and etiquette don’t matter anymore, I am very thankful to be receiving a lot of positive feedback declaring that manners and etiquette still count!  So, I continue on with another week of good conversation about what I’m glad to hear isn’t a dying tradition.

As we embark on another week of Thanksgiving Day countdown, we may enjoy more opportunities to capitalize on making the sought-after day a memorable one.  First of all, we can sit back and take a deep breath, count our blessings and enjoy the life that we have before us. Then, on with the show! 

Provide Menu Options:  “John is lactose intolerant. Would it be okay with you if I brought a special potatoes dish for everyone to enjoy?” This is a perfectly acceptable and considerate gesture to make. It’s not nice to surprise the cook on turkey day. 

Hostess etiquette suggests asking guests (when they accept an invitation) whether there are any special dietary needs to consider because it feels good to have everyone happy in our home and at our table.  Likewise, good guests desire to help in any way possible, making sure the hosts enjoy the festivities as well!

Share the Guest List with Your Kids: If kids are prepared, they are more likely to greet guests cordially. Be sure to advise your immediate household that all guests are to be greeted at the door with big smiles, even if they are “regulars” at your home.  Yes, this means peeling away from the football game and off the couch to meet and greet.  Just imagine how delighted guests will be to know your family is glad they have arrived. 

Delegate!   If you are like most Americans, you are the chef, butler, maid, housekeeper and more. I’m confident if you ask kindly, most of your family and friends will be honored to help, and even insist you give them a job before you ask. I’ve learned the hard way that trying to “be all, do all” is just not realistic.  Especially on Thanksgiving Day, when people say they want to help, most of them really do. Remember, you are supposed to have fun and enjoy your company.

What are your favorite tips for making Thanksgiving Day memorable and less stressful?  Be sure to share your comments below. We’d love to hear from you!

© Tiffany Nielsen. All Rights Reserved.

 

Halloween Etiquette: Spooky Night Tips for Courteous Goblins

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Halloween marks the beginning of America’s holiday season, and the weeks and months to come give all sorts of opportunities to improve social civility.  What better time than Halloween to reignite consideration for others? After all, good manners are most welcome from those on both sides of the doorsteps in our neighborhoods on Halloween.

Start out your Halloween festivities with a few tips that encourage community, hospitality and a fun night of sugary, spooky good times!

Get Creative with Costumes
Reach into your closets and get creative with building a costume, especially if you want to save money.  Consider mixing and matching pieces to come up with a close second to a store-bought costume.

An old military uniform is always debonair! A poodle skirt, sweater set and costume jewelry make a time-tested 50’s sock hop look.

Reaffirm that while some costumes are eye-catching and star-studded, they should always be age appropriate.

Sweet Treats
One bad apple made the pleasure of giving away homemade popcorn balls with gum drops a thing of the past (shucks!). Therefore, for the consideration of everyone, remember to stock up before October 31 on prepackaged candies sure to delight trick-or-treaters. However, if giving candy isn’t to your liking, what about a few coins? Kids need to save up for holiday shopping too.

If you sense the kids standing at your doorstep are too old to be trick-or-treating, forget reprimanding them and hope there is a good reason for their being at your doorstep.  They may be college students having fun and looking for their next meal!

Manners for Kids Manners start at home and are, hopefully, reinforced by peers in a community. Spend a few minutes discussing good manners with the kids you know by reminding them to practice the following:

  • Smile and say “trick or treat” when the front door  opens.
  • Say “thank you” for whatever treat is offered and mean it.
  • Stay on walk ways.  Avoid stepping on flowerbeds and lawns.

Good spirits win on Halloween as well as every other day of the year. Happy Trick-or-Treating!  And parents, if you are throwing your own Halloween party, have an excellent time! Etiquette note to remember: eating your kid’s candy is a big “no-no” without asking permission first.

Copyright 2011 Tiffany Nielsen. All Rights Reserved.  To reprint, please contact Tiffany Nielsen at tiffany@tiffanynielsen.com for permission. www.tiffanyynielsen.com

Mealtime Manners: Is it Peace or Chaos at Your Table?

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Setting the Table is Fun!

As keepers of our tables, we do have a say as to how table manners will be dished out over all mealtime gatherings.   Sometimes, it may feel pointless to keep asking little Sally to stay seated when it’s the ten-thousandth time you’ve asked her to stay in her chair. It doesn’t help if big brother is licking his knife. The trouble parents go through to command a little table respect is a task that can bring blessed peace to the family dinner hour.  After all, you deserve it after busting your tails getting food on the table, right?

Back to Basics: These ought to sound familiar and, I’m sure, are in full expectation at your gracious table:

  • Elbows off the table
  • No chewing with your mouth open
  • Set the table correctly and pass food to the right
  • Put salt, pepper and butter on the table

To get the ball rolling for more peace at your table, start by creating a game that teaches kids how to set your table correctly. This lets the kids know what is being served and what utensils, etc… need to be on the table to make polite eating possible.

One child per meal, describe the meal to the children in great detail. Use descriptive words such as “golden mashed potatoes, Hereford steak with a secret sauce and sweet cherry tomatoes.”  Then ask them to assess the menu and determine what goes on the table. Learning how to set the table according to what is being served teaches them to ask questions about the food and how to work a place setting which will come in very handy when sitting across from a potential employer sizing them up for employment!

Be detailed, descriptive and energetic about this game. Other siblings, friends, parents or make-believe friends can cheer on (or egg on) the player. Add a timer to the game to see if they can beat their time when it’s their turn to go again! And, if they miss something, like salt and pepper, they have one extra job after dinner like taking mommy’s plate to the sink or wiping down the table. When they master the place setting, they win the prize of being served first and someone else taking their dirty plate to the sink.

Kids and adults like games that make fun of what, otherwise, might seem boring and stuffy. Anything that creates peace at the table without hindering the learning of everyday good living is well worth the effort.

And, if you want another smashing idea to keep mealtime peace filling your cup, how about attending a dining etiquette class where someone besides you gets the tasks of teaching manners? Sign up for this one-of-a-kind class and enjoy seeing the change happen overnight!  To register, contact Tiffany Nielsen at 559-280-9859.

Tiffany Nielsen shows men and women of all ages how to stand out-not stick out socially and professionally. She is the President of Premier Etiquette, a full-service etiquette and image training and consulting company, and co-author of The Power of Civility and Incredible Business.   Visit her website at www.tiffanynielsen.com to learn more about how you can thrive socially and professionally!

Copyright 2011 Tiffany Nielsen. All Rights Reserved.  To reprint, please contact Tiffany Nielsen at tiffany@tiffanynielsen.com for permission. www.tiffanyynielsen.com

Sincerity and Civility in Tough Times

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Sophia is a young girl from my town who passed away tragically a couple of weeks ago. I came across a memorial in her honor while on my evening walk.

I have abundant faith in the kids who gave away their possessions in Sophia’s memory so she may be at peace. This act of sincerity reminds me that we should never underestimate the love children have for others.

Being sincere is what I call “virtuous” etiquette. In Sophia’s memory, we can easily witness how people may cultivate peace and sincerity in a tough situation.