Tiffany Nielsen

Adult and Youth Etiquette Workshops

Living Graciously

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What Would Charlene Say?
Three Easy Habits for Gracious Living

Charlene Nielsen, Editor Premier Etiquette

Etiquette and Style Editor, Mother, Grandma and Champion of Civility.

Charlene Nielsen, my beloved Mother-in-Law and Editor here at Premier Etiquette, joined the angles in heaven on May 4, 2014. If I were to ask mom what we can do today to feel better about our situation, she’d recommend the following daily habits, which I would like to share with you.

  1. Get Dressed. In spite of a bald head, pale skin and being at war with the gremlins (as we called them), mom got dressed every day. She styled her hair and wigs and she never left her house looking as if she just rolled out of bed.  “Get up, get dressed! You never know who you might meet!” says Charlene. I’d like to add that pajamas are made for bedtime, not for wearing out in public.
  2. Smile! Smiling doesn’t come easy to some folks, but it did for Charlene! She woke up with a smile, she slept with a smile. She made the miserable smile even when they didn’t want to.  Smiling at those who annoyed or troubled her was commonplace. “People, how hard is it to smile? Ghosh”, says Charlene. It takes more muscles to frown than smile.
  3. Give Thanks. She never complained – at least out loud – to me about surgery or another round of chemo/radiation. She didn’t whine to the doctors, her nurses or the assistants. In fact, Charlene frequently expressed to her oncologist the following statement: “Thank you for taking care of my family and me. I’ve learned so much and I am fascinated about these helpful treatments for people like me”. If it weren’t for cancer, I wouldn’t know all you great people.” Leave it to Charlene to be thankful for her situation while her entourage uncomfortably awaited the reading of CAT scans.

Charlene Nielsen found the silver lining in everything and everyone.

Giving thanks for each day spent with mom is easy, but missing her is painful. Her daily practices are now habit for our family and it can be for yours, too

Which habit do you want to adopt? Which habits do you wish more people would practice?

©Tiffany Nielsen | Premier Etiquette. All Rights Reserved.

Tiffany Nielsen, Founder and CEO of Premier Etiquette, is your favorite Etiquette Lady and Personal Stylist. She lives in Exeter, CA with her husband, David and travels nationwide representing ideas and strategies to help solve social and business faux pas. You can attend Tiffany’s upcoming program, Mother May I on May 27 and 28th from 5:30 to 7:30 P.M. at Brandman University in Visalia, CA or in Bakersfield. The program cost is $34.00.

What Happened to Tiffany?

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This past week I received a phone call from a friend and loyal Premier Etiquette fan. She expressed how excited she was to see my recent email announcing our upcoming communication and etiquette skills class. I always get a warm feeling knowing people do read my emails. Don’t you?

She then told me that in the midst of reading my email, her excitement turned to puzzlement. She said to herself, “What? That’s it? One class announcement? No etiquette tips? No Fall fashion preview? Oh no, what happened to Tiffany? I’d better call her.”

I couldn’t have a better friend looking out for my best interests. We should all be so diligent as to find out what might be happening with a friend when something doesn’t seem right. She trusted her instincts and called me. I’m choosing to share this with you because perhaps you also have wondered, “What happened to Tiffany?” or “That’s it?” when you opened my last email. Let me explain.

This won’t come easy to me since I’ve been schooled to leave personal business at the company door. Rather, stick to positive subjects when sharing out-of-office happenings with business associates and clients. Nevertheless, here we go.

I don’t get by on luck. I achieve success through the help of a very strong, loyal team who has my back. We, the team, see ourselves as well armed soldiers fighting for the common good: stellar etiquette practices by all! When I found out that Charlene Nielsen, my Premier Etiquette In-House Editor, also known as my wonderful mother-in-law, was diagnosed with stage 4 small cell lung cancer in May, we all put on the brakes to help her.

Premier Etiquette Editor and Mommy-in-Law

Chasing doctors and appointments became our first and foremost task. Poise and persistence ruled as others were dropping the ball and prolonging her treatment plan. At last, chemotherapy was put into action and she finished her first round last week. It took us over two months to make the reality of treatment possible; it has been a grueling and frustrating experience. At the same time, we were blessed to witness her tenacious spirit rise again.  Some of you have had the opportunity to meet Charlene at events where I have spoken. You know her spirit and you can count on the fact that she remembers you!

So, now you know where I, Tiffany, have been. I haven’t given up on my work to rid the world of bad manners, nor have I stopped sprinkling etiquette dust on those who want the positive power of etiquette in business and elsewhere. I’ve simply been lending my heart and dedication to a much deserving loyal subject.

Thank you for your patience and assumed appreciation for our journey here at Premier Etiquette. On the bright side, the power of positive thinking has us all on the right track. I’m pretty sure every one of you reading my letter has been touched by cancer. The fight to beat it is unreal, cumbersome and it takes a team to battle it out. So, if a little bit of time passes and you haven’t heard from me, have faith that I’m here for you too and I will soon surface again. If I don’t, for heaven’s sake, call me!

Your Loyal Etiquette Soldier,

Tiffany

Thanksgiving Day: Stress-free Holiday Planning Makes for Happy Hosts

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LonnyMag.com/Eddie Ross

A Thanksgiving host/hostess expels countless hours preparing a beautifully crafted dinner to celebrate harvest and meaningful relationships. To save yourself from over-stressing and trying to be a super hero, enjoy these easy steps for setting a festive table.

Wash and Polish. Set aside time now to dust off your best dishes, clean and polish your favorite serving pieces and iron table cloths. Trust me, it’s a “must do” task to keep the sanity. You have more important things to do, like stuff the turkey and make those tasty side dishes, the morning of Thanksgiving.

Fancy it Up! Keep it simple in fancying up your table decor. You don’t have to spend extra money on table supplies. Tree leaves, branches or fresh flowers scattered amongst small pumpkins and votives will make for “ooo’s and ahaaa’s.” Just make sure you leave room on the table for platters.

marthastewart.com

Set a Perfect Place Setting.  To remove the guess work of setting a basic table, here’s a little map to follow:

Basic Table Setting by Emily Post

And, let’s not forget to enjoy our own gatherings of family and friends to give thanks for what is good in the world!

© Tiffany Nielsen. All Rights Reserved.

Thanksgiving Etiquette

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Despite some claims that manners and etiquette don’t matter anymore, I am very thankful to be receiving a lot of positive feedback declaring that manners and etiquette still count!  So, I continue on with another week of good conversation about what I’m glad to hear isn’t a dying tradition.

As we embark on another week of Thanksgiving Day countdown, we may enjoy more opportunities to capitalize on making the sought-after day a memorable one.  First of all, we can sit back and take a deep breath, count our blessings and enjoy the life that we have before us. Then, on with the show! 

Provide Menu Options:  “John is lactose intolerant. Would it be okay with you if I brought a special potatoes dish for everyone to enjoy?” This is a perfectly acceptable and considerate gesture to make. It’s not nice to surprise the cook on turkey day. 

Hostess etiquette suggests asking guests (when they accept an invitation) whether there are any special dietary needs to consider because it feels good to have everyone happy in our home and at our table.  Likewise, good guests desire to help in any way possible, making sure the hosts enjoy the festivities as well!

Share the Guest List with Your Kids: If kids are prepared, they are more likely to greet guests cordially. Be sure to advise your immediate household that all guests are to be greeted at the door with big smiles, even if they are “regulars” at your home.  Yes, this means peeling away from the football game and off the couch to meet and greet.  Just imagine how delighted guests will be to know your family is glad they have arrived. 

Delegate!   If you are like most Americans, you are the chef, butler, maid, housekeeper and more. I’m confident if you ask kindly, most of your family and friends will be honored to help, and even insist you give them a job before you ask. I’ve learned the hard way that trying to “be all, do all” is just not realistic.  Especially on Thanksgiving Day, when people say they want to help, most of them really do. Remember, you are supposed to have fun and enjoy your company.

What are your favorite tips for making Thanksgiving Day memorable and less stressful?  Be sure to share your comments below. We’d love to hear from you!

© Tiffany Nielsen. All Rights Reserved.

 

Thanksgiving Etiquette: Tips for Holiday Planning

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Thanksgiving Etiquette
Etiquette Tips for Holiday Planning

Whether this is your first or 50th year for hosting a Thanksgiving gathering, it’s a big deal! There’s the guest list and menu to plan, cleaning to be done and considerations of etiquette and manners to make the day enjoyable for everyone. Here are a few tips to celebrate this memorable American tradition with class.

Invitations If you are the host, consider assembling your invite list by the end of this week to establish a “head count.”  The Emily Post Institute suggests we begin inviting guests from two months to two weeks prior to Thanksgiving Day.   Basically, you want to give people plenty of time to make travel plans and provide enough time for you to get going on grocery shopping. Hit the sales, grab your coupons and plan on a few guests sticking around the following day for leftover turkey sandwiches.

RSVP Although a host or hostess may give you an RSVP deadline, consider responding as soon as the invitation is extended.  If you received a “family” invitation, let the host know how many of you can come. Uninvited guests, although welcomed gracefully by a good host, can’t be planned for if not anticipated. Not responding is a giant etiquette faux pas, and one many of us remember for a long time.

Offer to Contribute Once you’ve been invited, you may want to think about contributing something to the meal. Wine, pies, breads, etc… simply ask, “Is there anything you would like me to bring? This is an important lesson to teach our kids. I mastered making homemade pumpkin pies in college because my mom made me (in a roundabout way). She taught me to ask the hosts how I could contribute. Since pie was always requested, I made pie (I couldn’t afford Marie Callender’s).

Order/Pick Up the Meat: I don’t know about you, but menu planning is huge in our house because it’s the food and the company that brings us to the table. Follow “good common sense protocol” and order that bird a.s.a.p. (or beef, which ever you prefer). Last Easter I called the butcher for a leg of lamb Easter week and they were out (dah, Tiffany!). Turkey isn’t hard to find, but testing your luck with 20 people sitting at your table without any sign of delivery on the traditional meat serving they’ve been waiting for all year isn’t something I advise.

Have fun planning and contributing to a beautiful American tradition!